You know how it goes. Our bodies love sunshine, but too much can burn us. Sugar makes food taste incredible, but too much can make us sick. Likewise, technology has become an irreplaceable improvement in our lives, but too much can harm us.
Specifically, we’re talking about electronic technology’s place in our social lives today. That’s our phones and computers – and the messaging apps and social media sites that inundate them.
We should talk about this because technology kicks butt. We get to have so many powerful tools for connecting with others through our small, bright rectangles. The benefits of being able to contact anyone, anywhere, at any time are substantial.
But too much of a virtual social life can be harmful to us. Especially now, when many are still recovering from their quarantine-forged habits.
Let’s look at some pros and cons of using our technology in our social lives and see what can be done to achieve a happier balance.
Pro: Practically a time machine
No need to figure out a meeting spot, start up the car, or calculate travel times. A click of a button will get us to most anyone through our tech portals.
Con: A separation from the world
Ever lost hours scrolling? Ever realized you were hungry or had to go to the bathroom only after disconnecting from your chat? It’s rather common. Time can blur, and our physical awareness can lessen when we’re on our screens.
Find a balance
Spending time with friends can be a great opportunity to better connect with the world, ourselves, and our connection to the moment. Save time by scheduling consistent meetups with your buds. They don’t have to be long, and you don’t have to reinvent the wheel on every occasion. Start a habit of going for walks, meals, or other scheduled activities together to take advantage of the world around you and your marvelous bodies as a crew.
Pro: Friends of friends of friends
There is never a shortage of people to befriend online. Meeting someone new is as easy as spotting a cool post and sending a message. With algorithms suggesting people we might already know and our friends collecting their own list of cool peeps, the options are abundant.
Con: Illusory connections
Studies have shown for many years now that social media use does not help with loneliness. Additionally, our social skills, which are so important in every interaction in our day-to-day lives, are not kept sharp by virtual interactions alone. Sending a message electronically is one skill, sure, but connecting with another human face-to-face? Reading their body language? Matching their conversational pace? Those skills have to be practiced too, to be kept sharp.
Find a balance
Try to develop a social circle that you can meet with physically in addition to any friends that you keep virtually. Going out and meeting a few people locally (perhaps with a great app that helps sync up availability and interests) can lead to a whole new social network in the real world. The process to initially connect with others may not be as quick, but the connections formed in-person cannot be substituted.
Pro: No energy? No problem
Sometimes we feel overwhelmed, physically or mentally. Putting on pants is just too much. So, getting off the couch to go meet some friends? Seemingly impossible. Reaching out to friends electronically can be a great solution.
Con: Unrealistic aspirations
We all know to take the perfect lives we see online with a whole container of salt, but congratulatory updates, happy photos, and interesting article shares populate our virtual social circles. Even if we acknowledge the hidden bias towards impossible perfection, our standards can still get skewed with exposure over time. Suddenly, your own life doesn’t seem as full as others’. What a disappointment.
Find a balance
Set smaller goals for yourself, even just for going to meet your friends. Let yourself go as you are (if pants are a problem, maybe sweatpants can do it) and tell your support crew that you had a hard time getting off the couch. Dare yourself to just go to the door, then just to your ride, then just to the meetup, with the knowledge you can turn back at any time. Call a friend and ask them to yell encouragement! They want you there, imperfect as you are. And then you’ll get to talk about most everything, even the boring stuff that they don’t share electronically.
At the end of the day, we can over- or under-use our technology in search of a good social life. It’s important that we learn to balance how we use it so that we can take advantage of all the positives without falling prey to the negatives. And in a time when it’s much easier to log on than go out – it’s so important to seek out those real-life connections!
Surely, there’s an app for that.
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